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It had an appeal. One didn’t feel pain in the grave. I let the thought wander away. I did not fear death, but had a healthy respect for dying. Knowing my luck, I would wake up in the hospital missing my arms and legs. I purposely drove into the night. I wanted to put many miles between Phoenix and me. It didn’t eliminate the pain, but at least it felt like I was accomplishing something. I tried in vain to think of my art. Something that was so simple for me before, became a burden. I had to force the colors and they never felt right. Anger and disappointment were overshadowing my thoughts and my art was suffering. I didn’t like myself anymore. I was home for five days and hadn’t even entered the workshop. The river flowed without me. It held memories of lunches that would never be repeated. I ate, I walked and I brooded. I tried to use music to change my mood. It was all dull and lifeless. I was dull and lifeless. Everything I had I invested in Amber. She took it all with her. . ??Sounds perfect!??Just wait and see! Then you can tell me what is perfect or not.??I?d better see to my nails???Of course, there are backs to be scratched and women to be separated from their husbands.?Part 2.-------------------------------The cell was bare and padded. The walls and low ceiling were leather that looked almost like a Chesterfield design with no buttons. The leather could not be damaged by the scratching and attacks of the captive who languished in the darkness. There was not even enough room to stand upright and the soft rubber floor was broken only by a narrow hole in one corner where she was permitted to leave bodily wastes. The prisoner languished naked in the total warm darkness that was filled with the smell of sex, the slightly rank smell of semen, sweat and the perfumed soap of all that female lubrication. The stuffy warmth of the small room was almost pungent, it filled the senses and invaded the consciousness with an insidious flavour.Darkness was total. Most.
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